7 strategies on how to deal with  your negative emotions (and Graves’ Disease mental symptoms)

Graves’ disease (or any thyroid disorder for that matter), as we all know, come with a nice set of mental symptoms like irritability, emotional liability, nervousness, restlessness, depression, anxiety and worrying, to name a few…

It’s a well-known psychological fact that emotions feed your thoughts and thoughts feed your emotions. If you feel angry, sad, frustrated etc. and keep thinking about the person or situation that caused you feel that way, you will “fuel” these emotions even more. That’s a never-ending circle but you can choose different emotions or different thoughts to break that vicious circle. How this happens in practice?

The emotional container of every person can hold up only certain quantity of emotions, it’s not expandable. It can hold up, let’s say, up to 2 gallons of emotions, not more. And you can fill out this container, so speaking, with whatever you want. Do you prefer joy, or sadness, or something else? It’s up to you!

There are also a few strategies that I used, and I still use to keep my negative emotions under control:

1. Exaggerating worry strategy and designating a special day of the week for your negative emotions.  Let’s say you choose Fridays to worry, be sad, self-pity yourself or be angry..This is your special day but only on this day you’re allowed to have your negative emotions. Postpone if they happen another day of the week. You’ll be surprised that this psychological trick really works!
2. I am challenging you on this particular day to take a short break and start worrying about everything that comes to your mind: your job, your money, your mortgage, your husband, your kids, your parents, about global warming and politics, about deadlines and health. Start worrying and continue this way to the point where you become one big walking “Worry” and nothing else.
3. Now, let’s turn this upside down  or, as I like to say, flush this emotional toilet. Replace these very “unproductive” thoughts and turn your worries into: What if only good things happen to me… What if…. I find a better job, my kids do well at school, they are healthy, kind and understanding, my parents are in good health, my husband /wife wants to cook me a dinner or take me out, I have enough money, I finish my projects on time and so forth. What you gonna do with all that goodness that come on your way? You get my point. When these types of thoughts fill up your emotional toilet there will be no space left for the negative ones. We can worry about positive things as well, if we choose to do so.  It’s that simple.
4. Cultivate gratitude. Every night before going to bed grab a notebook and list just 3 things that you are grateful or blessed for (only for that particular day).  These could be things like: food on your table, roof over your head, the beautiful day outside, the rain, the nice sales person, the time you had to rest, a promotion at work, nice conversation with a friend, good news about something. I am sure you can come up with something worth writing down.

5. 

   Meditate or take some time off for yourself, even 30 min. and do nothing. Or put this 30 min on your to do list and do whatever you want.  I promise, this simple strategy will recharge your energy and make you feel better. I’ve dedicated a whole article about meditation to convince you how good this is for you.

6.  Know that to climb more you should generally carry less. To hear more, talk less. To succeed more, assume less. To gain more, resist less. To excel more, compete less. You’ve heard that from me before. So speaking, simplify your life and focus on just a few priorities (multitasking is not a fashion any more). That simple method will relieve your stress tremendously and make you feel much, much better. 

7. Make passion part of your life. This picture came to me through Facebook, (don’t forget to LIKE us:) and I decided to share that with you as a strategy of coping with negative emotions, because there is nothing that can charge us more than incorporating passion in our lives. Passion is also connected with creativity and as we know, the throat chakra is responsible for creativity. So speaking express yourself with passion! What’s your passion? Planting flowers, writing, sports, hobbies of any kind. Find out what you’re passionate about and do more of that. Doing or creating something with passion will fill up your emotional container with positive emotions (so, there will be no place for negative emotions).

I have to admit that these strategies, regardless how simple and mundane they look, require patience, discipline and consistency. You’ll be creating new habits, but healthy ones, but it’s worth trying.

Happy flushing your emotional toilet!

If you have your own strategies and experience you want to share, please do so on my blog…You can’t even imagine how many people you can help. 

Svetla’s blog on Graves’ Disease and Hyperthyroidism

More on the subject of emotions:

Graves’ Disease Mental Health

Living with Graves Disease: 4 Quick Life Style Changes for Better Health and Better Life

Health and Wellness Coaching for Graves’ Disease patients

Do I have more strategies for helping your mental symptoms and negative emotions? Of course I do and they are included in my book “Mental, Emotional and psychological aspects of thyroid disorders” ($24.95).

Do’s and Don’ts for family and friends of Graves’ disease patients.

author: Svetla Bankova

1. First: Don’t run away from a person who has Graves’ disease/hyperthyroidism. When it comes to Graves’ disease, or any thyroid disease for that matter, it would separate the weak from the strong. Don’t be that friend or spouse that leaves. Help as much as you can, write, email, text, visit, stay there for the long haul. The longer thyroid disease stays, the lonelier it gets.
2. Don’t say things like “Oh, you are just having a bad day, tomorrow will be different”, ” You can’t do the things you use to do 20 years ago” or “If you just get up and move, get outside and do things, you’ll feel better.” That’s not helping folks!
3. Don’t’ share horror stories about people who became worse because they had their thyroid removed, got RAI, or pursued natural treatment. It’s not considered a happy ending, if the character of your story got worse, one or another way.
4. When it comes to a serious disease like Graves’ disease or Hashimoto’s, there are no right words. Keep it simple: “I’m here for you!”. And mean it. Sometimes you don’t have to speak even, your presence is enough and matters more than any words. Keep in touch, even your friend/spouse with Graves’ disease is too tired to talk, or to spend time with you. Continue to be there for them.
5. Don’t offer medical advice or discourage the person from pursuing the course of treatment he or she was chosen. (Unless you are a medical professional and you’ve been asked for an advice). Whether you agree with their decisions or not, respect the choices they have made. It’s about their health, not yours.
6. Don’t blame the person for being sick with thyroid disease. It’s not their conscious choice. Don’t point that he/she is being sick because of smoking, not eating healthy, lack of exercise, eating too much red meat, stress or negative thinking. Seriously, don’t do that!
7. Don’t point out anything that isn’t flattering- like their bulging or protruded eyes (that hurts!), brittle nails, skinny bodies, overweight bodies or fine hair. Make sure that your words are necessary, helpful and kind. That matters!
8. Don’t be afraid of the person being sick: Graves’ disease or any thyroid disease is not contagious. Get in there and hug, hugs mean more than words!
9. Don’t say you know how the person feels. You really don’t know! You can only guess, but that’s not enough.
10. Don’t ask personal questions; allow the person with thyroid disease some privacy. They don’t have to share everything with you no matter how close friend/relative/family you are to them. If they volunteer information, that’s fine. Some people prefer to keep their medical information private, other may go public. That’s their choice.
11. Don’t promise to do something that you can’t and won’t do for them. People with thyroid disorders may go through worst times of their lives, so don’t offer empty promises. The last thing for them is to be disappointed or heartbroken. Offer only what you are willing to follow through on.
12. Don’t take anything personally. Graves’ disease brings up all kinds of emotions, often negative. It can make the person irritated, angry, sad, depressed, anxious, nervous, tensed or all of the above. This has nothing to do with you, it is caused by their thyroid disease. It also makes the person awfully tired and exhausted so it is better to offer your help!
13. Instead of asking “What can I do to help?”, offer specific things: to babysit the kids for a few hours, to cook a meal, to run errands, to help with laundry, to drive somebody somewhere, to help with cleaning, to pick up kids from school, to help the children with homework, to fill the fridge, to go grocery shopping. Options are limitless, and you know best your friend/spouse/relative. If you can’t do something, you’ve been asked to, be honest. Don’t forget that it’s very hard for people with Graves’ disease to ask for help. That’s one of the reasons on a first place why they got sick!
14. Offer sweet little things that may help the person with thyroid disease feel better: buy movie tickets, invite over for dinner or lunch, buy flowers, write a card, send a nice text message, get them a good book/movie/CD, whatever you can afford or you can share. Trust me, your friend/spouse/loved one will never forget what you did for them.
15. Help the person with Graves’ disease to delegate duties. Make a list of what they need or want, then make a list of family, friends, co-workers, neighbors who might be the best matches to meet those needs and wants. Remember, this is temporary, but means a lot!

16. Sometimes a hug is all the person needs: it alleviates stress, depression and fatigue as well as lowers the risk of heart disease and strengthens immunity! A mere 10-second hug per day can reduce blood pressure and raise the levels of feel-good chemicals like oxytocin. So, go and hug your friend/loved one, it costs nothing! Don’t forget the 10 seconds rule!

Hyperthyroidism & Emotions

Graves’ Disease- A Missed Call for Love?

Despite recent advances in diagnostic procedures and the development of new techniques for removing or damping down the function of the thyroid gland, the enigma of Graves’ disease remains unsolved. Why the thyroid starts functioning abnormally, why antithyroid medication can succeed in damping down the function of the thyroid gland in some people and not in others, cannot be explained.

A relationship between severe emotional shock and the onset of hyperthyroidism had been noted by clinicians since the first descriptions of the disease entity. Cases in which the illness starts immediately after a severe shock continue to be seen.

However, the presence of emotional shock is not the only imperative for the appearance of Graves’ Disease or Hyperthyroidism. By emotional shock, I mean traumatic life events or living under continuous stress (family or work related). A sudden event then may trigger Graves’ Disease, depending on the persons pre-disposal to autoimmune disorders. You can check possible traumatic events here: Graves’ Disease Causes.

It appears that the presence of extended emotional disturbance or stress, even in cases where is not so evident, is a good enough reason for the onset of these diseases.

My personal observations as a former patient with Graves’ Disease, as well as my investigation as a psychologist, show that the stability of Graves’ Disease/ Hyperthyroid patients rests upon the ability to gain affection and protection by doing for others, or taking care of the others. They appear to be friendly, out-going, and likable persons, perhaps because they have unconsciously cultivated ways of being liked, usually giving much and asking little. They concentrate their efforts on gaining the affection of a parent, a child, friends, and a group of people or a spouse by self-sacrifice.

Unless they can give of themselves they feel unwanted and rejected. Even though they are unable to “assert” their own needs openly, they nevertheless expect unswerving fidelity in return for their over solicitude. That’s the way they are able to control the people around them and that’s how so-called “neurosis of power” is created.

As a result, the patient is left helpless, betrayed and enraged. It appears that the basic need of these patients is for more love than they can get at that particular moment and for a prolonged period of time. At a certain point, the disease starts to manifest on different levels.

For me, this is one of the basic psychological reasons for the onset of Graves’ Disease and Hyperthyroidism- the inability of the patient to communicate their need for love, as well as to receive love.

The structure of this psychological phenomenon lies in the following scheme:

 Basic needs (love, food, acceptance, sense of belonging, sexual needs etc.)—–>  not satisfied due to different reasons (rejection, inability to ask for etc.) —–>Aggressive Response Anxiety —–>Defense Against Anxiety ——> Reaction Formation (ostentatious display of independence or/and affection)——>Break Down —–>> Ineffectual Defense Structure with overwhelming Anxiety is apt to produce thyrotoxicosis.

Final Thoughts For Your Consideration:

1. Determine your basic needs- here and now. What do you need: love, food, tenderness, attention, validation, what exactly?

2. Can you use different methods of communication to ask for what you need?

3. Make a list of activities that will endorse your sense of self-love. What do you for yourself? How do you love yourself? 

4. Make decisions based on your real needs and therefore create a lifestyle based on these needs. If your job is not giving you what you want, look for another one, if your spouse is not what you want- speak up or leave, etc. (easily said than done, I know). But there is always a way out of any situation. 

5. Clear relationships and communications. Speak up how you feel. Don’t attack verbally the other people. Aggression is not the way. But you still can say what you think at least. 

6.  Love your disease, this is the way how your body and your soul want to remind you that they still exist. Honor them. 

Love, Chemistry and Graves’ Disease- the Chemical Connection

How do we can explain the chemical connection between Graves’ disease and Love? Is there such connection at all? Yes, it seems there is- Abdulrahman Alkhowaiter, a Doctor of Natural Medicine and one of my clients seemed to find this connection or us. He was also so kind to allow me to publish
his findings on my website, so everyone can read them. So here we go:

“Svetla, I wanted to elaborate on your discussion of Thyroid disease and the link to mental stress or emotional shock:

During heavy stress situations, the Adrenal glands in both humans and animals respond automatically. Since the animal and human body is blind to the actual situation, it considers that the shock is a physical one (even when it is a purely emotional issue such as death of spouse or divorce), and the Adrenal gland is commanded to excrete high levels of several Adrenal hormones by the master gland, or Hypothalamus gland located near the brain.

These hormones include Adrenaline, Cortisol, and other catabolic hormones secreted into the bloodstream, in anticipation of a major physical injury which will require immediate rebuilding and repair of tissue. In addition, DHEA, an Anabolic (good) hormone produced by the Adrenals is sharply reduced in output. Therefore the catabolic hormones are the most dangerous in the short and long term, because these begin a physical breakdown (Catabolism) of human tissues to release isolated amino acids such as L-Glutamine, and other agents such as minerals (copper, zinc, sulfur, Iron ) to be used to rebuild the “damaged” tissues when the physical injury occurs.

It is the internally generated chemicals when produced in high quantities that are directly responsible for the destruction of tissues such as the Thyroid gland. Those people undergoing emotional shock, and who have a robust thyroid gland and robust organs can resist this attack and can recover with no long-term effects. Many others do not because they have unhealthy organs, to begin with, which are borderline functioning, and the result of this chemical attack then becomes permanent damage. Can it be repaired? Yes, but it requires highly scientific nutrition based upon a deep biological understanding.

You yourself are one example of someone who has done just that. And what does love have to do with it? External Love and deep internal satisfaction cause the Hypothalamus gland to command other glands to release large amounts of Anabolic hormones such as HGH, DHEA, Testosterone, IGF-1, and others, which have the opposite effect as compared to the Catabolic hormones. Also, Cortisol, Adrenaline, and other Catabolic hormone levels sharply drop in response to commands from the Hypothalamus during this time.

The end result is the ability to rebuild damaged tissues that were adversely affected during the emotional stress period.

 Wish you well,

Abdulrahman Alkhowaiter

Doctor of Natural Medicine

So, as you see- Chemistry is everywhere- even when we talk about Love and Graves’ Disease.

Stay well,

Svetla Bankova