7 strategies on how to deal with  your negative emotions (and Graves’ Disease mental symptoms)

Graves’ disease (or any thyroid disorder for that matter), as we all know, come with a nice set of mental symptoms like irritability, emotional liability, nervousness, restlessness, depression, anxiety and worrying, to name a few…

It’s a well-known psychological fact that emotions feed your thoughts and thoughts feed your emotions. If you feel angry, sad, frustrated etc. and keep thinking about the person or situation that caused you feel that way, you will “fuel” these emotions even more. That’s a never-ending circle but you can choose different emotions or different thoughts to break that vicious circle. How this happens in practice?

The emotional container of every person can hold up only certain quantity of emotions, it’s not expandable. It can hold up, let’s say, up to 2 gallons of emotions, not more. And you can fill out this container, so speaking, with whatever you want. Do you prefer joy, or sadness, or something else? It’s up to you!

There are also a few strategies that I used, and I still use to keep my negative emotions under control:

1. Exaggerating worry strategy and designating a special day of the week for your negative emotions.  Let’s say you choose Fridays to worry, be sad, self-pity yourself or be angry..This is your special day but only on this day you’re allowed to have your negative emotions. Postpone if they happen another day of the week. You’ll be surprised that this psychological trick really works!
2. I am challenging you on this particular day to take a short break and start worrying about everything that comes to your mind: your job, your money, your mortgage, your husband, your kids, your parents, about global warming and politics, about deadlines and health. Start worrying and continue this way to the point where you become one big walking “Worry” and nothing else.
3. Now, let’s turn this upside down  or, as I like to say, flush this emotional toilet. Replace these very “unproductive” thoughts and turn your worries into: What if only good things happen to me… What if…. I find a better job, my kids do well at school, they are healthy, kind and understanding, my parents are in good health, my husband /wife wants to cook me a dinner or take me out, I have enough money, I finish my projects on time and so forth. What you gonna do with all that goodness that come on your way? You get my point. When these types of thoughts fill up your emotional toilet there will be no space left for the negative ones. We can worry about positive things as well, if we choose to do so.  It’s that simple.
4. Cultivate gratitude. Every night before going to bed grab a notebook and list just 3 things that you are grateful or blessed for (only for that particular day).  These could be things like: food on your table, roof over your head, the beautiful day outside, the rain, the nice sales person, the time you had to rest, a promotion at work, nice conversation with a friend, good news about something. I am sure you can come up with something worth writing down.

5. 

   Meditate or take some time off for yourself, even 30 min. and do nothing. Or put this 30 min on your to do list and do whatever you want.  I promise, this simple strategy will recharge your energy and make you feel better. I’ve dedicated a whole article about meditation to convince you how good this is for you.

6.  Know that to climb more you should generally carry less. To hear more, talk less. To succeed more, assume less. To gain more, resist less. To excel more, compete less. You’ve heard that from me before. So speaking, simplify your life and focus on just a few priorities (multitasking is not a fashion any more). That simple method will relieve your stress tremendously and make you feel much, much better. 

7. Make passion part of your life. This picture came to me through Facebook, (don’t forget to LIKE us:) and I decided to share that with you as a strategy of coping with negative emotions, because there is nothing that can charge us more than incorporating passion in our lives. Passion is also connected with creativity and as we know, the throat chakra is responsible for creativity. So speaking express yourself with passion! What’s your passion? Planting flowers, writing, sports, hobbies of any kind. Find out what you’re passionate about and do more of that. Doing or creating something with passion will fill up your emotional container with positive emotions (so, there will be no place for negative emotions).

I have to admit that these strategies, regardless how simple and mundane they look, require patience, discipline and consistency. You’ll be creating new habits, but healthy ones, but it’s worth trying.

Happy flushing your emotional toilet!

If you have your own strategies and experience you want to share, please do so on my blog…You can’t even imagine how many people you can help. 

Svetla’s blog on Graves’ Disease and Hyperthyroidism

More on the subject of emotions:

Graves’ Disease Mental Health

Living with Graves Disease: 4 Quick Life Style Changes for Better Health and Better Life

Health and Wellness Coaching for Graves’ Disease patients

Do I have more strategies for helping your mental symptoms and negative emotions? Of course I do and they are included in my book “Mental, Emotional and psychological aspects of thyroid disorders” ($24.95).

Do’s and Don’ts for family and friends of Graves’ disease patients.

author: Svetla Bankova

1. First: Don’t run away from a person who has Graves’ disease/hyperthyroidism. When it comes to Graves’ disease, or any thyroid disease for that matter, it would separate the weak from the strong. Don’t be that friend or spouse that leaves. Help as much as you can, write, email, text, visit, stay there for the long haul. The longer thyroid disease stays, the lonelier it gets.
2. Don’t say things like “Oh, you are just having a bad day, tomorrow will be different”, ” You can’t do the things you use to do 20 years ago” or “If you just get up and move, get outside and do things, you’ll feel better.” That’s not helping folks!
3. Don’t’ share horror stories about people who became worse because they had their thyroid removed, got RAI, or pursued natural treatment. It’s not considered a happy ending, if the character of your story got worse, one or another way.
4. When it comes to a serious disease like Graves’ disease or Hashimoto’s, there are no right words. Keep it simple: “I’m here for you!”. And mean it. Sometimes you don’t have to speak even, your presence is enough and matters more than any words. Keep in touch, even your friend/spouse with Graves’ disease is too tired to talk, or to spend time with you. Continue to be there for them.
5. Don’t offer medical advice or discourage the person from pursuing the course of treatment he or she was chosen. (Unless you are a medical professional and you’ve been asked for an advice). Whether you agree with their decisions or not, respect the choices they have made. It’s about their health, not yours.
6. Don’t blame the person for being sick with thyroid disease. It’s not their conscious choice. Don’t point that he/she is being sick because of smoking, not eating healthy, lack of exercise, eating too much red meat, stress or negative thinking. Seriously, don’t do that!
7. Don’t point out anything that isn’t flattering- like their bulging or protruded eyes (that hurts!), brittle nails, skinny bodies, overweight bodies or fine hair. Make sure that your words are necessary, helpful and kind. That matters!
8. Don’t be afraid of the person being sick: Graves’ disease or any thyroid disease is not contagious. Get in there and hug, hugs mean more than words!
9. Don’t say you know how the person feels. You really don’t know! You can only guess, but that’s not enough.
10. Don’t ask personal questions; allow the person with thyroid disease some privacy. They don’t have to share everything with you no matter how close friend/relative/family you are to them. If they volunteer information, that’s fine. Some people prefer to keep their medical information private, other may go public. That’s their choice.
11. Don’t promise to do something that you can’t and won’t do for them. People with thyroid disorders may go through worst times of their lives, so don’t offer empty promises. The last thing for them is to be disappointed or heartbroken. Offer only what you are willing to follow through on.
12. Don’t take anything personally. Graves’ disease brings up all kinds of emotions, often negative. It can make the person irritated, angry, sad, depressed, anxious, nervous, tensed or all of the above. This has nothing to do with you, it is caused by their thyroid disease. It also makes the person awfully tired and exhausted so it is better to offer your help!
13. Instead of asking “What can I do to help?”, offer specific things: to babysit the kids for a few hours, to cook a meal, to run errands, to help with laundry, to drive somebody somewhere, to help with cleaning, to pick up kids from school, to help the children with homework, to fill the fridge, to go grocery shopping. Options are limitless, and you know best your friend/spouse/relative. If you can’t do something, you’ve been asked to, be honest. Don’t forget that it’s very hard for people with Graves’ disease to ask for help. That’s one of the reasons on a first place why they got sick!
14. Offer sweet little things that may help the person with thyroid disease feel better: buy movie tickets, invite over for dinner or lunch, buy flowers, write a card, send a nice text message, get them a good book/movie/CD, whatever you can afford or you can share. Trust me, your friend/spouse/loved one will never forget what you did for them.
15. Help the person with Graves’ disease to delegate duties. Make a list of what they need or want, then make a list of family, friends, co-workers, neighbors who might be the best matches to meet those needs and wants. Remember, this is temporary, but means a lot!

16. Sometimes a hug is all the person needs: it alleviates stress, depression and fatigue as well as lowers the risk of heart disease and strengthens immunity! A mere 10-second hug per day can reduce blood pressure and raise the levels of feel-good chemicals like oxytocin. So, go and hug your friend/loved one, it costs nothing! Don’t forget the 10 seconds rule!

How are you treated from Graves’ Disease and Hyperthyroidism? Mental disorders versus physical disorders treatment and what’s the difference?

Any mental disorder is considered “abnormal” functioning of cognition, mood, emotions or behavior. “Abnormal” means out of the norm established by the majority of people. Abnormal is characterized by the 4 D’s- deviation, distress, dysfunction and danger. Any physical disorder, regardless if it is physical or autoimmune disorder is also abnormal- it deviant from the “health” norm, it causes distress and dysfunction and it could be dangerous, I mean, yes, you can die.

 Why I am bringing up mental versus physical disorders treatment? Because, regardless of their origin, they should be treated with similar understanding and similar approaches. How’s that?

All mental disorders are discussed by scientists in the frame of different models, to be more specific there are about 400 therapy approaches, including biological, all aiming to treat mental disorders. So why the physical disorders should be approached and treated only in accordance with the biological model- i.e medication, RAI or surgery for Graves’ Disease for example?

Many mental disorders are discussed as a result of biological and chemical dysfunctions: low activity of the neurotransmitter gamma- globulin acid (GABA) may lead to anxiety disorders, schizophrenia is explained with dopamine overactivity and depression is linked to low serotonin and norepinephrine levels. Hormones are the other factor, found to influence some mood disorders, especially the cortisol, the stress hormone. And this hormone affects people with Graves’ disease as well! Accordingly, the supporters of bilogical model apply drug therapies, electroconvulsive therapy or even brain surgeries in attempt to correct these abnormalities. Very similar to the conventional treatment options for Graves’ disease, as you see: your hormones are not right and we will fix that with drugs (or RAI or surgery). These are the only approved by the conventional medicine methods of treatment, not only in the USA, but worldwide.

However, mental disorders, luckily, are not treated only in accordance with this biological- medication method. As I already mentioned, 400 different psychotherapies are used worldwide as well. So, then why an autoimmune disease like Graves’ cannot be treated equally, with other available options? Let’s make a parallel between different models and treatments:

Psychodynamic model: The three forces that define abnormal behavior, according the father of this theory Sigmund Freud are the instincts (ID), rational thinking (or Ego) and moral standards (Super Ego). The Id functions on the pleasure principle and includes instinct needs, sexual impulses and desires. The ego is connected with the experience acquired through the years and it acts on the reality principle, and provides information regarding whether or not it is safe to express impulses generated by the Id. Superego represents the moral authority and individual’s values and ideals. Those three forces are adjusting and developing through the years and if these adjustments are successful, that leads the individual to normal psychological development. If the process fails, the person gets fixated in certain stage of development and that leads to abnormal behavior and abnormal functioning. How about we consider as well Graves’ disease or hyperthyroidism as a result of this conflict between ID, Ego and Superego, but it manifests itself not on a mental, but physical level?

Behavioral model supports the theory that all actions are result of certain experiences in life and how the individual responds to the surrounding environment. Accordingly, the behavior can change in response to the environment. Behavioral theory distinguishes a few forms of conditioning that can shape human behavior: operant conditioning, related to receiving rewards for certain behaviors, classical conditioning, based on the associations made by the individual when two events occur simultaneously and modeling, which pertains to the observation of certain behavior in others. Behavioral approach seeks what particular behaviors are causing the abnormality and tries to replace these behaviors by applying the principles of modeling, operant conditioning and classical conditioning. How about we consider Graves ’ disease as a result of the environment and your behavior is causing that physical “abnormality” called Graves’ disease?

Cognitive model explains abnormality as a result of inaccurate assumptions, thoughts, attitudes and conclusions that may lead to abnormal behavior of the individual. Another reason found by cognitive model that may result in abnormal functioning is the illogical thinking and overgeneralization. People often follow illogical ways of thinking and draw self- harming conclusions, which sometimes result from one single, small negative event. How we consider Graves’ Disease as a result of these inaccurate assumptions and actions and according to them people get  sick with Graves’ disease, instead of depression?

Humanistic- existential model suggests that when children are not raised in positive environment they create inaccurate view of themselves and their life experiences, which may generate psychological problems later on in their lives as adults. Abnormality is viewed by existentialist as lack of responsibility regarding life and clients are encouraged to take responsibility of their lives, chose a different course, different actions and greater meaning. How about redesigning your life and taking different course and action, different from the one that caused Grave’s disease on a very first place?

These are just few examples of different approaches regarding mental disorders, but why not the same models be applied to physical disorders like Graves’ disease? If you consider just the biological approach and interpretation, I believe that you are grossly reducing your chances of recovery. Because the body is not a machine, which parts, when not functioning properly, should be changed, repaired or worst of all, removed or destroyed to fix the problem.  Why people cannot realize that they are way more complex than machines and the brain and mind play an equal role for the onset of Graves’ disease? So, let’s look at the ‘whole person”, not just part of it that needs to be repaired. Then I believe the healing will begin!